i confuse myself. i dont know what i think or feel sometimes, sometimes my feelings get clouded by what i think and other times my thoughts get clouded by what i feel. It makes me run in circles, but im not chasing my tail, something i know that is there but cant reach. i dont know what im looking for. how can i say im looking for myself when I know who i am. im that person. the person running in circles. thats me.
Letting people see my feelings, telling them face to face what i think and what i feel isnt something im good at nor do i think i will ever be good at it. confrontation. confrontation. i dont like being transparant.
If i were anything other than human i think i would be a blade of grass. Just there, in the midst of everything else. unimportant, just THERE. thats what i would like it be. but then again, i dont knw cuz if im in one place for too long i become insane. insane.
red.
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